The Peace Corps Tells Us We’ll Feel Like We’re In A Fishbowl, But Are We Fish?

Before I left the States to begin my service in Azerbaijan I was bombarded by paperwork. Lots of it. Some was required paperwork, of course, but there was also a lot of paperwork on what to expect as a Volunteer. We’re told all about the "fishbowl" experience, something that we’ll feel like we’re in because of the constant eyes on us. And now, after almost a year of service, I’ve determined that I don’t feel like a fish. Fish belong in a fishbowl. I feel more like a bird or a rabbit in a fishbowl. It’s almost like the accident phenomenon – why is traffic moving so slow if the accident is on the other side of the highway? Ahh, yes, everyone has to try and see what happened. I’m something strange, something new and different to look at and talk about. And it doesn’t go away. I live in a big enough town that I won’t know everyone and I’m continually seeing people I haven’t seen before. In a town where up until last week only four foreigners (and now there are two) lived, heads always turn when I walk. More people than the one I’m talking to listen to my language skills. And definitely more people know who I am than I know who they are. Now I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a bad thing. Statistically speaking a PCV is much safer when they’re known in the community than when they’re not. And it definitely helps the PCV’s work in the community when people know who they are and what they’re doing. But every so often it can be overwhelming and frustrating. It’s the complete opposite from the anonymity I could experience in America. I want to be able to go to the bazaar and back without being stared at. Without being asked what Azerbaijani food I like. Without being asked if I need a taxi. Without being asked if there is a certain food in America. Without being asked if I know a previous Volunteer that left before I arrived. And on and on. But it will pass. Over time I’ve learned what I can and can’t deal with depending on my mood, and I adjust accordingly. I choose more carefully what to do and who to interact with and the rough patch will soon be behind me, and I can move on in my work and life.

Just a glimpse into the not always perfect life of a Peace Corps Volunteer in Azerbaijan…