Guesting...

As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve been assisting and teaching some English classes at my organization. Before we all left on the holiday one of the students asked if the English teacher and I would come to her house during the holiday break. The English teacher, Mesme, had to check at home so after doing that we decided that we would go this past Friday, and after my travel adventures it was moved to Saturday.

Mesme and I met in town and Ulvia, one of the students, came and picked us up with her uncle, who has a car. We were then driven to Sevinj’s house (three of the students, Ulvia, Sevinj and Lale, are very good friends and all live in the same village just outside Ucar) where we were greeted by her mother and fed tea and snacks (baklava, cake, etc.) while we looked at Sevinj’s pictures – with school friends, with her family, at weddings and just general growing up pictures. So there were the three students, Mesme, me, and whatever members of Sevinj’s family seemed to wander through. These are the times when I wish there was some sort of program where I could just absorb the language while I sleep and wake up fluent – I know I was being talked about but I couldn’t understand everything. And having Mesme there was both a positive and negative experience – if I had a question there was someone to direct it to and help with translation, but I know she also answered questions that were directed at me when I could have answered on my own.

After 45 minutes or an hour we left Sevinj’s and walked the equivalent of a block or so and ended up at Lale’s house. There we were welcomed by more family members, ushered into the dining room, and had fruit and nuts set out before us – along with tea, of course. After some chatting came more food – chicken, bread, etc. Tasty chicken, but it’s hard to know how much to eat when the hosts aren’t eating – they’re watching you eat. It’s that tricky balance between eating enough to be appreciative and not offend anyone, but not so much that they think you’re starving and try to give you even more…

So an hour later the three girls, Mesme and I left Lale’s and we walked along the village road that leads to the main road into Ucar. When we reached the main road instead of turning toward Ucar, like I thought we would (maybe to catch a bus home), we turned the other way. Now, it was time to go to Ulvia’s! Maybe I should’ve asked at the beginning – I initially thought all of us would be getting together at one of their houses, not all of us going to each of their houses… So Ulvia’s house was more of a walk, 15 – 20 minutes away, and when we arrived we were greeted by her mother. Into another eating room, we were welcomed with tea and sweets (mmm…baklava). We all looked at Ulvia’s pictures and then came more food: cabbage dolma, salad and bread. Dolma is a traditional Azerbaijani dish that is a meat and rice mixture wrapped in cabbage (or grape leaves) and cooked. After that the sweets returned, along with fruit and more tea. I really should have known what we were doing ahead of time, that way I could have staggered my eating a bit more – it was all so delicious! Then we were at Ulvia’s for a bit longer – doing the typical teenage girl kind of thing – watching some TV and listening to music. From there Sevinj and Lale walked home and we waited for Ulvia’s uncle to come by with his car and give us a ride home.

Retrospectively, it was an interesting day. Not entirely what I expected, but even better. It was good to see the girls in their element, outside of the classroom. And not only outside of the classroom, but in each of their homes, being the host. Each home we went to it shifted – you could see the girls and how they were almost ready to have a home of their own, and do this on a regular basis. I saw the same thing with my host sister during training – she’s 17 and not yet engaged, but her family was already planning her dowry and she couldn’t get enough of looking at home decorating magazines or helping her mother around the house. I’ve noticed that it’s much more forward looking here than what I remember growing up. I learned how to bake cookies because I wanted to, not because I would need to know how to cook for my household one day. I had chores because my parents wanted to teach me responsibility, not because I needed to know how to do laundry for my future household. Here it seems that the end result is always in mind – girls will grow up and get married, so these are the things they need to know.

I’m sure this was just the first of many visits to friend’s homes, so we’ll see what’s to come. Obviously all of Azerbaijan won’t be represented in what I see, but hopefully I’m getting a well-rounded view during my time here.